


Worth The Risk

by flootzavut



Series: Kate & Gibbs [19]
Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Kibbs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-01
Updated: 2015-08-01
Packaged: 2018-04-11 08:15:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4428026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flootzavut/pseuds/flootzavut
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kate being inappropriate when drunk leads to unexpected confessions and possibilities that Gibbs hadn't dared hope for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Friday Night

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sansone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sansone/gifts).



> This actually started as a random silly joke with a friend (sansone, this is all your fault!), and evolved gradually into humour, angst, romance and smut. I blame my muse (and sansone) for taking silly jokes way too seriously ;p

Gibbs wondered again why he let himself be dragged along to these things. He didn't mind a quiet drink with his colleagues now and then, but a noisy club was really not his scene. Next time he'd make sure he knew what was planned _before_ he agreed to join in.

Nursing a cold beer and sitting gloweringly in the corner for an hour or two rather than ringing for a taxi to bugger off home immediately was about the only concession he was willing to make to not being a complete Scrooge. He was counting down the minutes till he could reasonably escape without getting an earful from Abby about how he should do something new once in a while.

"Hey, Gibbs, you not dancing?" He looked up to find Kate standing in front of him, swaying, pink-cheeked and smiling, looking decidedly tipsy.

He scowled at her, which had absolutely no effect whatsoever. "What's it look like, Agent Todd?" He really shouldn't be snippy when she was most likely just trying to make sure he was having a good time, but drunk people really weren't his thing. Even when they were Kate, for whom he had a considerable soft spot.

"Aw, c'mon, Gibbs, dance with me." She reached down and grabbed his hand, then pouted when he refused to be budged. "Party pooper."

She was cute when she pouted, which was one of many reasons why, when it was Kate asking him to dance, he was most definitely _not_ about to give in. Pouting was not behaviour he approved of. That Kate could manage to make it look adorable just made her dangerous. "I don't dance." Not with beautiful agents who had soulful eyes and were almost young enough to be his daughter, anyhow.

Undeterred, she pulled harder, then grabbed on with both hands and tugged. He attempted to snatch his hand back and whoops, _wrong move_. Her grip on him was firmer than he'd realised, and rather than getting his hand back what he got was a giggling Kate half falling over, her laughter, her cleavage in his face.

She stumbled and plopped down into his lap, then laughed some more. In his mind he upgraded 'tipsy' to 'seriously inebriated'.

"Whoops! Sorry, I think I'm a bit danced to drink." She frowned. "That isn't right, is it?" She shook her head vigorously, and even holding his breath couldn't stop the scent of her hair from wafting up and invading his nostrils.

How had he managed to end up with a lapful of Kate? All soft and sweet-smelling and inviting. She grinned at him and he stifled his various urges - groaning, swearing, pulling her close and kissing her silly.

"You-" she patted him on the chest "-you should've come danced with me in the first place. Then I wouldn't've ended up realising I was so drunked. Drinked. Drunkened. I was fine before." She pouted again, humphed, and this time she poked him hard. "'S _your_ fault."

He didn't know how to reply. The only suitable response seemed to be an apology, which clearly wasn't gonna happen.

She relaxed a little into his shoulder, put a hand down to steady herself, and he grunted with surprise when it landed between his legs.

He swallowed hard. Having her in his lap had been bad enough. He wasn't sure what he'd done to deserve _this._

It took her a moment to notice he was suddenly sitting bolt upright and having trouble breathing, why he'd grunted. She made a noise that sounded like... interest. And didn't move her hand.

"Wow, Gibbs." She looked up at him, wide-eyed but with a shade of smirk, and apparently impressed. "You're packing some serious heat."

He hoped like hell she didn't expect him to be able to answer when her butt was on his knee and her hand was on his crotch. He made an inarticulate noise, half distress and half arousal.

Kate leered, and he gulped. Leering really wasn't typical Kate behaviour aimed at anyone. He didn't know quite what to do about it aimed at him. Especially when her hand _still_ hadn't moved from his damn cock, and was she trying to kill him?

"Yummy," she murmured, and her tone of voice was almost worse than the fact she was touching him. Not to mention that if she remembered this conversation tomorrow, she might actually kill him, and he couldn't _do_ anything about it because his brain had frozen when her hand landed on him. The only action he thought he could manage would be to thrust up into her grip. And, well, he'd never forgive himself for taking advantage of her. It was just... unthinkable.

"Hnnnn." Oh, shit. His vocal cords didn't wanna know and his mouth was too distracted by Kate's to do something as mundane as talking.

Then she squeezed. He groaned and screwed his eyes shut, summoning all his willpower not to move against her hand, and her were lips suddenly by his ear and he whimpered - all out fucking _whimpered_ , for God's sake.

"Great big yummy cock, Gibbs. Very nice. Bet you know how to use it, too."

If she wasn't drunk out of her mind right now, this would be a wet dream come true. As it was, it was kind of a nightmare. She was touching him, whispering not at all sweet nothings in his ear, and he couldn't do a thing about it, couldn't pull her close and kiss her and slip his hand under her skirt to touch her, just had to sit here and try not to break.

"Unnnn," he managed, but he somehow doubted even a sober Kate would've been able to accurately translate that to 'Please stop touching my dick because otherwise I'm gonna die'.

She laughed in his ear. "Lovely. Maybe you'll let me have a go sometime."

He managed another pathetic whine, looked at her desperately, trying to convey what he couldn't actually say. She squeezed again, smiled, her gaze now roaming over his face, and then-

"Hey Kate, this song is great, you have to come dance with me."

Abby was grabbing Kate and pulling her up out of his lap, and he'd never been quite so glad or so sad to see Abby's face.

"Gonna come join us, Bossman?"

Abby apparently hadn't realised what she'd interrupted or that he was incapacitated due to all the blood in his body throwing a party in his crotch.

"I'm fine here, Abs." She gave him a strange look, and he couldn't blame her. He decidedly didn't sound fine even to himself. "I'm _fine_. Go dance."

He glanced towards Kate, tried not to notice her expression of... was it disappointment? "Go. Both of ya." He shooed them away and then, when they were out of earshot, let out a long breath and wondered if dumping his ice cold beer into his lap would make his hard on go away.


	2. Saturday Morning

The third knock, he set down his tools and thumped up the basement stairs. Mostly people either gave up or just let themselves in, and he had no idea who'd be this persistent and yet this polite.

When he opened the door, Kate was standing on his doorstep looking embarrassed and contrite. "Hi."

"Kate." Oh, dear God. He fought back the urge to pre-emptively cringe. It was obvious why she was here, and he really didn't want to discuss this today. Or ever.

It wouldn't be kind to tell her to piss off, but it _was_ tempting.

Kate being Kate, he was sure brushing it off with a 'don't worry about it' would be completely ineffectual. She would need to get it out, would need to - horror of horrors - _talk_ about it. Unless it was in the context of 'can we do it again?', it wasn't a conversation he thought he could deal with.

There was an uncomfortable silence. "I- um..."

Best get it over with, if it couldn't be avoided. "Spit it out, Kate," he said, his tone gentling the words.

She took a deep breath. "I'm so, so sorry, Gibbs. I was so drunk, I don't know what I thought I was doing. I can sometimes get a little... uh, handsy, when I've had too much to drink, and I-" she blushed "-I don't remember the whole night but I think I remember, um... well, I'm really sorry."

She looked almost like she was about to cry, and he decided it wasn't the right moment to remind her of his policy on apologies. He reached out and clasped her shoulder lightly. "Don't worry 'bout it, Kate. Worse things've happened to me than a beautiful girl feeling me up."

"Feeling you up? I practically _assaulted_ you, Gibbs. I don't - I didn't..."

He did his best to keep a straight face. "Kate, assault... look, you didn't assault me, okay? Don't beat yourself up. It wasn't like that, wasn't like I tried to stop you." Or wanted to, really, even when he knew he should. Despite the state it had left him in, if circumstances were different he'd happily go for a repeat performance - just as long as she was sober so he could reciprocate. "It was, uh, unfortunate, sure, it wasn't _assault_. Hell, Kate. You were drunk. If I'd let you do anythin' else, it'd be _me_ who owed _you_ an apology."

And he'd been so very tempted. Had so wanted to kiss her, at least, or to let himself react to her hand on his pants, but it would've been wrong on so many levels.

Her eyes were huge in her face. "Thank you for not... you know."

He shrugged, smiled briefly. "Wouldn't do that to ya," he said softly.

She managed a little smile in return. "Thanks." Her shoulders slumped slightly now she wasn't tense with guilt, but he wasn't sure she'd exactly accepted his forgiveness, either.

A tear escaped down her face and without thinking he reached out and wiped it away with his thumb, then tried to ignore the catch in her breathing. "Don't go takin' on guilt you don't deserve, all right?"

"Okay."

He let his fingers linger on her cheek for a moment, then forced himself to shove his hand back in his pocket. "Look like you could use a coffee?" It was stupid, inviting her into his home, but he didn't want to let her go just yet. Wasn't quite willing to send her away when she was clearly still so ashamed of herself. And possibly just wanted her to stick around, which was what truly made it stupid.

Still, when she looked up at him and smiled a bit wider, when she nodded, followed him through his house and into his kitchen, he couldn't bring himself to regret it very much.

He prepared the coffee in silence. Small talk had never been his thing, and considering Kate had casually popped over on a Saturday morning to apologise for grabbing his dick, well, he really wasn't sure what topic would actually be appropriate. At least once he made the coffee, he had something to do with his hands and mouth, which seemed... wise.

She sat at his kitchen table, huddled over her mug as if she needed the warmth. Gibbs forced himself to lean against the countertop so he couldn't do anything stupid, like wrapping his arms around her and promising to always keep her warm and safe.

_Bad idea_ , he reminded himself. _Coworker. Subordinate. Rule 12_. Part of him was whining back, _beautiful, smart, brave, funny,_ but he studiously ignored it.

She took a long sip of her coffee and groaned softly in appreciation. He winced and took a large gulp of his own. It hadn't been tempered or tainted with milk, so it was damn hot, but burning his tongue seemed a small price to pay to make sure he didn't say anything incriminating. Really, being groped by Kate one day and having her make orgasmic noises in his kitchen the next? It was like the universe was toying with him. Cruel and unusual punishment. He might've done some bad things in his life, but he was sure he didn't deserve _this_.

It was taking all his willpower not to suggest she come help him in the basement, because although woodworking was indeed relaxing and enjoyable and took your mind off of things, he was pretty sure his motive was less 'help Kate unwind' and more 'press her up against the boat and kiss her till she's moaning'.

"'S good coffee."

"Not too strong?"

She rolled her eyes at his teasing and smiled slightly, which he decided was a win. "It's _fine_."

Neither of them commented that, strength notwithstanding, he'd made it to her specifications, adulterating it correctly with sweetener and milk. If she was surprised he knew exactly how she liked it, she wasn't telling.

He half expected her to start apologising again, like making him think about how her hand felt on him once wasn't torturous enough, and when she did speak the question took him by surprise.

"Beautiful?"

He blinked. "What?"

"You said-" she coloured "-you said being felt up by a beautiful girl..."

At least she wasn't actually begging forgiveness for it again. He looked at her warily. "Yeah?"

"You think I'm beautiful?"

He blinked. _Well duh_. "Yeah?"

"Oh." She blushed more, looking both embarrassed and pleased.

"Geez, Kate, you ever look in the mirror?" He shook his head. "You must know you're gorgeous."

"I..." She turned away from him, but she couldn't hide her smile, the dimple in her cheek. "I didn't know _you_ thought so," she admitted, her voice soft.

It was on the tip of his tongue to ask why she'd even care, but there was no truly safe answer she could give. "I ain't blind," he assured her quietly.

She shrugged a shoulder. "Sometimes I think-" She stopped.

Gibbs waited, let the yawning silence coax the words out of her.

"Sometimes it seems like you don't... _see_ me. Like I'm there, but I might as well be invisible. Or... a guy..." She trailed off.

There was an unexpectedly plaintive note in her voice, and it hurt to hear. Partly because she was right, and partly because he suspected she had no idea of the real reason for it. Mostly, though, because he knew _he'd_ put the pain there, which made him feel like a total asshole.

"I just wish..." She shook her head and sighed.

Gibbs wasn't sure if she was exasperated with herself or with him, and either way he had no idea what to say. It wasn't as if he had anything worthwhile to offer. "You're an agent. I gotta look at you like an agent, it's how it works." He had painful experience of what happened when he let himself look at an agent as anything else. He wasn't gonna do it to her, not to his Kate. He wouldn't allow it. Period.

"I'm a woman too," she argued. "Is it so terrible to want to be both? Be seen as both?"

"No." He sighed. "No, it's not. It's just not..." _I just can't risk seein' you like that or I'll go stir crazy tryna keep you safe_. Yeah, it probably wouldn't be the wisest admission he'd ever made. Not to mention it already _did_ drive him crazy knowing he couldn't protect her. He was bad at this. _Big surprise_. "I gotta see you that way, Kate. It ain't personal. It's the job."

The look on her face said she believed him, but she sure as hell didn't like it. He wished he could explain better, maybe tell her some of the things she deserved to hear. About her work. About herself. About how impossible she made it for him to stay detached.

He wanted to put the smile back on her face, see her cheeks dimple, and he couldn't, and it ached. "I can't look at you like you're anythin' other than an agent, Katie. I _can't_. Can't _let_ myself."

It came out a bit more honest than he'd planned, and her eyes went wide.

"Oh."

"I mean-" _Shit_. He wasn't sure how to backtrack. And had he just called her Katie? This was why inviting her in had been incredibly stupid.

Hell, this was why he should never have given her a job in the first place, most likely, but at least up till now he'd managed not to exacerbate his mistake. Mostly it had been a good decision, even a great decision. Professionally, she was an asset.

At times like these, though, professionally was not at all how he was looking at her.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, and Gibbs refilled his coffee cup for want of anything better to do. Clearly, he needed to keep his mouth and his hands as occupied as possible. He obviously couldn't be trusted to keep them to himself.

"Did you just call me Katie?"

_Double shit_. "I... may have."

"Oh."

"Didn't mean to." Like that made it any better, when a slip of the tongue meant calling her a pet name (which, _really_? he was _so_ not the pet name type) he'd managed to keep mostly to himself and mostly in check since she'd officially been a coworker. But he wanted her to know he hadn't meant to be unprofessional or to talk down to her or anything.

Kate was smiling into her mug again, peering up from under her eyelashes. "It's okay."

He raised an eyebrow, and her smile widened, her face turning pink.

"You can call me Katie. If you want. I..." Her dimples reappeared, and she looked away and dipped her head still lower. "Ikindalikeit."

It took him a moment to unravel her mumbled words, and then he found himself grinning. It probably wasn't safe to actually speak, he didn't know what else he might let out if he wasn't careful, but the idea she was giving him permission to call her Katie - and maybe liked it a bit more than she should - was... was a happy thought.

He wasn't nearly done thinking about it when she broke the silence.

"What would you've done?"

He frowned. He'd been deep in enjoying the idea he had permission to call her Katie. He was sure even she didn't usually manage to get him quite this off balance. "Huh?"

"Last night. If I hadn't been falling down drunk. What would you've done?"

Her meaning suddenly became clear. He gaped at her.

Was she really asking...? Should he offer to... demonstrate? Would it be an acceptable employer/employee relationship if he took her upstairs and tied her to his bed?

She was searching his face, those big brown eyes catching the sun coming through his kitchen window and turning gold and amber and pure autumnal warmth. It was sapping his control over his vocal cords. "I, uh..." He shook his head. "Does it matter?"

For a long, long moment she just looked at him. When she spoke again her voice was quiet but firm. "It matters to _me_."

He sighed. "God, Kate, I can't- you were, okay, you were drunk and it happened and-" he shrugged "-I don't..."

_If you hadn't been drunk and you'd come on to me, we wouldn't be havin' this conversation because we'd've come home from the club together last night and we would still be naked_. That would be way too much truth, but he had nothing better to offer.

She didn't back down, just kept glaring at him, determined, pissed off, pleading, all in one look.

How had this conversation gotten so out of control so quickly?

"What do you want me to say?"

"Just tell me the truth."

He laughed sardonically. "Yeah, I don't think you want that."

"I do."

"I don't date my coworkers." _However attractive they might be_. "Rule 12. You know that." _Stop asking. Please_.

It was a copout answer for sure, and the look she shot at him said she was far from impressed. He carefully put his coffee mug down on the counter so he couldn't be tempted to smash it to the floor in frustration. Sometimes he was a coward. Sometimes, he _really_ hated himself.

"What if I wasn't your coworker?"

"We dealin' in hypotheticals now, Katie?"

He tried to ignore just how easily the nickname had tripped off of his tongue. He could stop, go back to calling her Kate, any time he liked, sure he could...

She got the bullheaded expression on her face he recognised from countless times when she was sure she knew best about a given situation, and his heart sank. She wasn't going to be put off so easily.

"It's not such a hard question."

"I dunno what you want me to say."

Or maybe, if he was more honest, he was realising he knew _exactly_ what she wanted him to say. And it was a lot like what he actually _wanted_ to say, and really, really couldn't. Shouldn't. _Wouldn't_.

She looked angry, and he didn't blame her. She was being brave, asking the question even though it was hard, even though she knew his rules, even though she risked exposing herself in the process, and all she was getting back from him was denial and evasion and non-answers. She clearly thought she deserved more, and he was pretty certain she was right, but he had no idea how to give it to her without making this mess even worse than it already was.

She got up suddenly from her chair, so quickly and so violently it started to topple over, and instinctively he moved to catch it and set it down on all four legs. Only then did he realise he'd just moved himself right back into her space, right back into the danger zone. Her anger was one kind of danger, sure, but her beauty and the scent of her hair were much more dangerous, and he should step back, get away, leave, tell her to leave, do _anything_ except stand here looking down at her, letting her fill his senses till it seemed like she was all he was aware of.

For a moment she just looked at him, her breathing hard and fast, and he tried to brace himself for an attack that seemed inevitable. He kind of thought she might punch him, but when it came it was far worse. A busted nose he could've dealt with, but her body pressing into his, her hands landing on his chest?

He closed his eyes and hissed out a breath. "Kate!" His voice was strained and he wasn't sure he could move. Or at least, he was pretty sure moving _away_ from her wasn't an option.

"Tell me no. Tell me you'd just walk away. _Tell_ me."

"I-" She was so close he could smell her, all sweet and fresh.

"Would you've walked away, Gibbs? Would you've turned me down?"

"No." Even to his own ears, it sounded quiet, defeated.

Her gasp made him open his eyes again. She was staring up at him, shock written all over her, and he couldn't figure out what was so surprising. She was searching his face, slowly shaking her head.

"What?"

"You'd have-"

Without his conscious consent, his hands came up to grasp her shoulders. He squeezed lightly then took a half step back so he could think, breathe, concentrate, even if he couldn't actually bring himself to let go.

"God, Kate, what did you think, that I'm made of stone? You- look at you. You're gorgeous, you're smart and funny and brave, your legs are a thousand miles long and your eyes-" He stopped. She really didn't need a list of all the good qualities he'd been taunting himself with ever since he'd given her the damn job. "You're incredible, Katie," he finished, shrugging helplessly. "Who could refuse?"

She looked slightly stunned. He supposed she wasn't used to him saying this much about anything, never mind running his mouth off about how wonderful he thought she was. Had he ever even given her a compliment before? Her cheeks were pink and those ridiculous, glorious eyes were gazing up at him, melted chocolate and caramel, sunshine and honey, and he couldn't look away, couldn't seem to summon up the will to move even as he saw her tilt her face up to his, rise up on tiptoe, reach up, brush his lips with hers.

He let out a hungry, rumbling moan, and for a long moment allowed himself to respond, one hand slipping into her hair as his tongue tasted hers, leaning into her instinctively, and _fuck fuck fuck_ it was _good_. It took every bit of willpower in his body to pull back, to push her away and turn around so he couldn't see the look on her face or be reminded just what he was turning away from.

"No." His voice sounded thick and weak, trying to talk around the memory of her mouth.

He could practically feel her confusion, feel her frown boring into his back.

"I don't-" He heard the click of her shoes as she approached him. "I don't understand, I thought- I thought you said-"

"Rule 12-"

"Screw rule 12. You want me. I want you. What's the problem?"

"We can't."

"I'm not drunk today, Gibbs. I'm a big girl. I'm a consenting adult."

"I. Can't."

All the reasons he wanted to were all the reasons he shouldn't. She grabbed his shoulder and forced him to face her again, and he looked down at her, all youth and hope and optimism, all raw potential, and he couldn't take it away from her. "I'd ruin you, Katie. Not gonna let myself. I'll ruin you." He shook his head. He had to convince her, because right now he wasn't sure he could convince himself.

He saw the muscles of her jaw tighten as she grit her teeth, and wondered if she was going to punch him after all. "The hell you will."

"You don't know me, Kate. You don't know how bad I'll hurt you." It was painful to put himself out there this way, to admit just how weak and flawed he was. "You deserve better than anythin' I can give you."

She shook her head, pushed at his chest, clearly furious, and when she spoke again her voice was sharp and angry. "You're, what, _protecting_ me? Maybe I don't need you to protect me, maybe I can decide for myself if I need protecting, did you ever think of that?"

"Maybe I'm protecting myself!" He never used this tone on her, his own fury quiet but deadly, and he saw the shock as he spat the words out. "You ever think of _that_ , Katie?"

There was a moment of perfect silence. Her eyes widened as she absorbed what he'd said, brutal honesty again when he hadn't intended it.

She looked down at her feet. "I... I didn't... I'm sorry."

He took a deep, rattling breath, clawed back a little control. "Ain't your fault." He tried not to sound too grudging as he said it. "What you got to be sorry for?" _Not your fault you're so damn gorgeous and infuriating and spellbinding. Not your fault I got no defence against you. Not your fault I can't think straight when you look at me that way. Not your fault I offered you a job when I shoulda known better. Not your fault_.

"I didn't mean- I didn't... realise."

Ever so gently, he touched two fingers to her chin, tipped her head back up so she was looking him in the eye. Willed her to see the apology he couldn't bring himself to voice. _It's my fault. It's all my fault, and I'm sorry. You were never, ever supposed to know_.

She searched his expression, her eyebrows drawn together with a little crease he wanted to lean down and kiss away. "But- but you would've last night? If I hadn't been drunk? You said-"

He wished it was easier to explain. "Woulda been a mistake. You woulda regretted it." _And I can't let you regret me, Katie. I can't_. Except of course, at this rate she was going to regret him anyway, and he hadn't even gotten to really kiss her, not like he wanted to. All pain, no gain.

_So, par for the course, then_.

She blinked a few times, then swiped at a tear that refused to be kept in. God, he'd never wanted to make her sad. It seemed the most natural thing in the world to gather her close and rock her, as if it was some other asshole who'd hurt her, not him.

He wanted to tell her he wasn't worth her tears. That she'd thank him one day, one day when she found someone whole and good who might actually deserve her, and she'd be relieved and grateful she hadn't had her heart trampled and stomped on and dried out by his inadequacy.

_I'm sorry. I'm so sorry_. He kissed the top of her head, buried his face in her hair, breathed her in, wishing he was enough of a bastard to sleep with her anyway, just once, make love to her soft and sweet till she cried, just so he could have the memory forever.

Eventually she uncurled slightly and her arms snuck around his waist. She let out a quiet noise, a sad but oddly satisfied little 'hmm'.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. It didn't seem fair not to say it, even if he couldn't say it properly and let her see how very much he meant it.

She shook her head against his chest and laughed.

"What?"

"You're impossible, you know that?"

Did she really think he'd never been told _that_ before? "Yeah."

She laughed again, and he found himself laughing with her even though he didn't know about what.

Messed up as this was, he realised, standing here with her in his arms... he sighed. It was as good as he'd felt in a long time.

When she finally loosened her grip and looked up at him, her eyes were red-rimmed but she was smiling. "Thanks."

He shrugged. "I- you're welcome." He wasn't sure she should be thanking him, given he'd been the one who made her cry in the first place. "Kate..." Oh, he was _so_ bad at this shit. "I hope you realise... I mean, I don't wanna hurt you, Katie. Just, please... know I never meant to hurt you."

She studied him for a moment, and then her hands were on his cheeks, framing his face, and her expression was tender exasperation.

"Oh, Gibbs."

He had the impression she was only just resisting the urge to shake him, and he wasn't even sure what for. There were altogether too many possibilities, too many potential reasons for her to be mad at him.

"What?"

She shook her head, then unexpectedly reached up kissed him again, and it was light and gentle and he really should make her stop but he couldn't. She caressed his face and his neck, her fingers combed through his hair, and her mouth was so sweet. She didn't push, wasn't trying to get into his pants this time. It was soft and perfect, and he couldn't remember the last time anyone kissed him with such concern and care and...

When she pulled away he found himself blinking, had to remind himself to keep breathing.

She looked at him, really looked, her eyes searching his face, seemingly taking in every line and crease, every detail. "Maybe it's worth the risk," she murmured at last. "Maybe sometimes you have to jump anyway, and trust someone will be there to catch you."

Her face was open and honest, and she was making no attempt to hide what she was really saying: 'Please jump, please risk it. I'm here. I'm willing to catch you.'

The idea Kate might be like him, might be attracted to him, was one he'd occasionally entertained. The realisation she would risk her heart for him was something else entirely. He couldn't speak. Even if his throat hadn't suddenly closed up, he wasn't sure he'd trust what might come out. When he touched her cheek with his hand, she nuzzled into it affectionately, and he shook his head, smiling despite himself in disbelief and wonder.

"Just..." She gave him a little wonky grin, her cheek dimpling for a second. "Just think about it, okay?"

He coughed, shook his head again, still bemused and not a little bewitched. "Okay." It tumbled out of his mouth without his permission, before he could stop it, but the mega-watt smile on her face now, the return of her dimples with interest, was ample reward.

She blinked slowly, and reached up to touch his lips with her fingertips, just lightly, so lightly, and laughed softly. "Gibbs?"

"Yeah?"

"Do me a favour? Think about it a _lot_."

He swallowed, nodded, his voice caught in his throat again. He wasn't sure he'd be able to _stop_ thinking about it.

She stepped away from him, and he forced himself not to grab her and pull her back, not to act on the impulse which had him wanting to follow her wherever she went. There was a mischievous look on her face which made him think his thought processes were altogether too transparent, and crap, he might actually be starting to blush. _Get. A. Grip_. He was caught between wanting her to leave so he could think straight and wanting her never to leave, ever.

"I think maybe I'd better go," she said, her eyes still sparkling with humour.

"Mm-hm," he managed. He was fairly impressed with himself for managing two whole syllables.

"See you Monday."

He nodded, unable to summon up anything else.

She smiled again, a shy, pleased smile, her lip caught in her teeth, and then she was turning on her heel and walking away, and when he heard the front door close, he sank down into one of his dining chairs and let his head drop into his hands. "Shit." At least he hadn't run after her, pushed her against the wall and kissed her stupid. Apparently he was still somewhat capable of rational thought. Somehow, though, he wasn't convinced he was gonna hold out for long.

At some point, he was gonna have to make a decision, and he had a feeling he knew already what it was gonna be.

_Maybe it's worth the risk_.

For both their sakes, he hoped like hell she was right.


	3. Next Saturday

He padded up the stairs in Kate's apartment building, eschewing the lift because he needed a few more moments to decide if he was being irredeemably stupid.

He wasn't at all sure this was a good idea, but her words were haunting him. Her words and her touch and her kisses and the sweet scent of her. The way she seemed to really care, way more than he deserved.

 _Maybe it's worth the risk. Maybe it's worth the risk._ He was pretty sure _she_ was worth the risk, if he was honest. The dangerous, exciting, irresistible thing was how she seemed to think _he_ was, too. After a week of staring at one another a really, really inappropriate amount and failing to actually talk about any of it, he was giving in, and this Saturday it was him turning up unexpected, praying for a friendly audience.

Third floor. He took a moment to compose himself, then strode out of the stairwell, along the hall, and there was her apartment.

He stopped again, stared at the door, at the brass numbers and the slightly chipped paint. _Needs rubbing down and a fresh coat of gloss_ , he thought, and then shook his head. Here he was steeling himself to take the leap, hoping Kate was still willing to do the same, and he was already planning the home maintenance he was gonna do for her? _You got it bad, Gunny_. Like that was news.

Taking a deep breath, he rapped sharply on the door, then leaned against the jamb and waited as he heard footsteps approaching. The rattle and click of a door unlocking, and then Kate was looking up at him, her eyes wide, shock and surprise and hope and happiness flitting across her face one after the other.

"Gibbs." Her voice was breathy, which he really hoped was his fault.

"Hi." He managed to tear himself away from her eyes, then realised she was wearing a simple white sundress and her feet were bare. He fought the temptation to groan, or maybe just drool.

She made quite the picture, all sun-kissed and casual, hair tumbling over naked shoulders, those thousand mile legs and - he gulped - crimson painted toenails. _Oh, God_. He'd been hoping to try and have some kind of sensible conversation, but she might derail it before he even began. By accident. _Oh shit._

When he met her eyes again, she was flushed a pretty pink but also smiling, evidently rather pleased with his reaction.

He grinned weakly. "Hi. Again."

"Hi." Those damn dimples were screwing with his mind. Kate's ease was increasing by the moment, probably because he was looking at her like his brain had fallen out. "Wanna come in, Gibbs?"

"Uh, yeah."

He followed her to her living room, where she sat on the couch and he parked himself next to her and found himself, again, just staring. He wondered if she had any idea how beautiful she was. His plan had been to come and talk to her, to try and figure out together whether this was anything other than a crazy mistake they really shouldn't make, but all he wanted to do right now was lean over and kiss her, slide his hands under her dress, see how thoroughly he could make her fall apart.

After a painfully long silence, she smiled again. "So... what's up?"

He shrugged. "I was... I was thinkin'... about what you said."

Her smile twitched a little wider. "Mm-hm?" She was biting her lip in the cute, Kate-type way she had, and he wasn't sure if it was nerves or if she was trying to stop herself laughing at how nervous _he_ must seem, but he reached out and gently nudged her teeth away from her lip, then grinned when her cheeks flamed red at his touch. He found he couldn't seem to stop touching her, watching with a detached kind of wonder as his fingers traced the line of her cheekbone and her jaw, down her neck, along her collarbone, coming to rest in the hollow at the base of her throat.

He looked back up. "Was thinkin' maybe you were right." Her eyes widened, and she leaned towards him. "Maybe it'd be... worth the risk."

He'd never seen her eyes look so big, so incredulous, so surprised. Her pulse was thrumming under his fingers, and she was staring at him as though she couldn't quite believe her ears.

He never had been good with the words.

He put his other hand on her knee, let his thumb rub against her naked skin, and she let out a small but unmistakable noise of pleasure. Maybe the easiest way to explain was not to bother explaining...

Part of him was still screaming about how foolish and destructive and downright dangerous this was, but the rest of him won out, and he leaned in to brush his lips over hers. The kiss deepened, rapidly became something more now neither of them was holding back, and suddenly he was tugging her thigh around his hip and her fingernails were digging into the back of his neck and he was pressing her down into the couch, kissing her with all the feeling and skill he had left in him, exploring her mouth the way he hadn't dared allow himself before.

She pulled him closer, pressing herself into him, and he groaned, struggling to trust the evidence of his own senses. She was moaning into his mouth, her body moving under his, and her hands were stroking his head, running up and down his spine, her touch as hungry and needy and demanding as his.

He'd intended to approach this in some kind of semi-rational manner, but his plan had gone out the window, and when they surfaced from the kiss it had nothing to do with common sense and everything to do with needing to catch his breath before his entire brain melted.

He was, he realised, in deep, deep water without a boat, never mind a paddle. He should probably move away from her, give them both a little space. Help them think straight.

He never had been much good at 'should', either.

"God, Katie." He sounded like he'd just run a marathon. He really, really hoped she'd be okay with him losing half his vocabulary in her mouth.

Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled lazily up at him. "Hey."

"I- sorry."

She gave him an amused look, raising her eyebrows. "Pro-tip, Gibbs, you don't _ever_ kiss a woman like that and then apologise for it."

He chuckled. "Yeah, uh..." No, he was _not_ gonna apologise again. Nope. But he maybe should try and explain after all. "I kinda meant to come here and just, y'know, discuss it with ya. At least... well, to start with," he added, when she shot him an amused, doubtful smile. Sure, he'd kind of hoped it would lead to something more, but he really hadn't meant for them to end up making out like horny teenagers before they'd even exchanged half a dozen sentences on the subject. "I was tryin' to... talk about it first."

She grinned harder, and then put a hand over her mouth, shaking slightly, before her laughter burst out, uncontainable. "Oh my God, Gibbs," she eventually managed. "That was you trying to _talk_ about this?" Her eyes were bright and her smile was wide, and given the way she still had an arm and a leg wrapped around him, he supposed he could forgive her for being quite so amused at his expense.

He shrugged. "Talkin' ain't my strong suit."

"Well..." Her expression was mischievous. "You certainly make up for it in other ways."

"Cheeky."

"Yup."

"Seriously, though..." He tried to remind himself there was stuff they needed to discuss and it was more important than making out on her couch. Probably. "Kate, I - I don't - don't wanna mess up. Scared I will." Admitting to fear? Damn, he had it bad for this woman. "I wanna make sure we're... on the same page here, before we, uh, take it any further. I don't want a, a fling or-" He shook his head. His brain was vacillating wildly between all the reasons this was a bad idea and the fact he really didn't give a stuff because he wanted her so much, had wanted her for so long, and so badly wanted to believe they could make it work.

"Gibbs?"

"Yeah?"

She had turned pink again, her eyes darting up to meet his and then glancing away. "I- Gibbs-" She shook her head and let out a frustrated sigh. "You're impossible." Her smile was fond and exasperated. "I _love_ you, you complete and utter idiot."

He blinked. "You do?"

"Have for a while, now. Is that so hard to believe?"

 _Um, yeah_. "Really?"

"Despite my better judgement, yes."

He laughed. Now he could believe her. "Oh. Okay."

"Okay?"

He shrugged, and ducked his head. He'd realised a few things this week, but admitting them to himself had been bad enough. Should he remind her again that talking wasn't one of his gifts?

"I, uh... Yeah." He probably shouldn't be mumbling at this point. Not very romantic. _Just as well she knows me_. "I mean... Me too."

"Well." Her smile had widened considerably. She was laughing at him again, but it didn't hide the delight written all over her face. "Good."

"Good?"

"Very good."

A weight he hadn't even realised he'd been carrying was lifted from off of his chest and he let out a sigh of relief. "Okay then." He blinked a few times. "So should we... talk about this? I mean, it could get... complicated."

She reached up and touched his face, brushed her lips lightly over his. "Well, we could." She made it sound like a concession she wasn't keen on making. "Or..."

He liked the sound of 'or'. "What?"

"I want you, Gibbs."

"Want you too, Katie, but-"

She stopped him with a finger on his lips. For a minute or so she just studied him intently.

"I want you," she said, finally. "I can become part of a different team, get another job, find a new career, even. Whatever needs to happen to make it work. We'll figure it out. I'm not worried. The one thing I can't replace is _you._ " She let her finger trace the line of his mouth, her eyes hungrily watching the movement as if she couldn't quite take it in.

He hadn't ever dared imagine he'd be able to make her look this way, never mind make her consider him irreplaceable. It was hard to get his brain around it.

"All I want is you, Gibbs," she finished at last. "Whatever that means. And I think... I think we've waited long enough. I think I'm tired of waiting. I think we'll figure out the rest as we go."

She looked up, and her gaze was dark and intent and wanting, and oh, he really had no honest interest in waiting or talking or being sensible.

"Okay."

Her smile blossomed. "Good." She arched an eyebrow at him, moved into his space. "So... where were we?" Her voice was lower, rougher, deeper than he was used to, and he really liked it.

"I think we were... making out."

Her smile turned mischievous. "Oh yeah. So we were." She waggled her eyebrows. "And it was really fun. Wanna give it another go?"

He shook his head and laughed at her tone even as he leaned down to kiss her again.

He hadn't thought either of them was holding out before, but now they'd talked and agreed they both wanted this, it was no longer the desperate making out of teenagers trying to grab all they could before the other shoe dropped. Instead, it turned into something much gentler and infinitely more seductive. A leisurely exploration of each other's mouths and bodies, a surety and confidence he'd almost forgotten was possible, borne of mutual acceptance and desire. He cradled her head, deepened the kiss, let himself get lost in how she felt and tasted.

For quite some time it was enough, more than enough, and then the hand working its way down her body over the cotton of her dress found flesh again and her leg tightened around his waist as she groaned.

If she was bewitching through clothing, her skin under his hand was utterly maddening, and he wanted it all. Patience gave way to desire and raw hunger. Her dress had been tormenting him from the second she opened the door... he slipped his hand up under it. He quickly found out her inner thigh was unbelievably soft and smooth, and touching it made her writhe, which sent a shudder of desire down his spine. She moaned into his mouth as he stroked, and her breathing got more ragged as his fingers moved higher. He pulled away from the kiss to watch her face as he reached her panties and started teasing.

He relished the discovery she'd already thoroughly soaked through her underwear, grinned at the way she pressed up against his hand, the way she sucked on her bottom lip but still couldn't suppress her whimpers. He chuckled as he bent to gently bite the side of her neck, prompting a needy gasp, and if both his hands hadn't been happily occupied he'd be tempted to pinch himself to check this was actually real.

She was mouthwatering. Not a surprise, after all - she always had been. The difference now was he could act on it. And what he wanted, _really_ wanted right now, he realised, was to taste her.

He kissed along her collarbone, down into her cleavage, his hand still between her legs, and she kept her eyes locked on his as he moved lower. He nuzzled her through the thin cotton, kissed and caressed each soft curve, till he was kneeling on the floor in front of her.

For a few moments he just knelt there between her knees, a hand on each thigh, looking up at her, then letting his gaze slowly drift downwards, from her pink cheeks to where her rapid breathing was pushing her breasts tight against the material of her dress, from her dark eyes to her spread legs, tempting and inviting him.

He slid both hands up her legs, hooked his fingers into the sides of her panties, then glanced up at her, asking permission with his eyes. She let out a sound of want he was certain he'd remember if he lived to be a hundred and one, and nodded. He peeled them down off of her legs, just a little bit slower than he imagined she'd like him to go, and then he was leaning down and kissing her soft skin, kissing a line up one thigh then the other, licking and sucking and nibbling. Sliding his hands up under her backside, he squeezed gently and had to laugh. He was getting to touch Kate Todd's backside at long last, and it wasn't even the best thing that was gonna happen to him today. _You are one lucky bastard_.

"Gibbs... oh God, Gibbs."

He had to close his eyes and remind himself to take a breath, hearing her say his name in that tone of voice. _Oh, Katie. I'm gonna make you come apart_. He moved further up, spreading her legs wide so his mouth could touch every delicious inch of her, getting closer and closer to where she wanted him, and God, she wanted him bad. How could she be so turned on? He could see it, hear it, smell it, and he still couldn't quite believe it.

Finally he gave in to temptation and pressed his face into her. For a moment he just stopped, breathing her in deeply, his mouth and nose buried in her damp curls, the heady scent of her arousal rich and intoxicating. He sighed out his appreciation, then chuckled at the pleading noise it prompted. This was way too much fun. He flicked out his tongue to taste her for the first time and she pushed up impatiently against his mouth. He laughed again as he gave her another exploratory stroke.

"You're... amazing," he murmured up at her. "Can't believe I get to do this." Then he started to lick in earnest - since this was Kate after all, and she could very probably kill him if he teased her for too long.

She was slick with arousal, sensitive and responsive, and when he slipped a finger inside her she bucked up against him. He'd never imagined... He worked her and loved her slowly and thoroughly, took his time savouring every inch, the noises she made, memorising the taste and feel of her just in case this was all some wild fantasy or hallucination, burying his face in her wet heat.

He'd think he was dreaming, except he was sure his imagination could never have come up with anything this good all on its own.

When he groaned his own pleasure, she shuddered. "God... Jethro..."

 _Holy fuck_. He shuddered, moaned again. Oh, she could purr that name in his ear anytime.

He was so done for. He'd had it. He was hers to own if she wanted, hook line and sinker, and he hadn't been inside her yet, hadn't even gotten her naked. _You're in deep, deep trouble, Gunny_. And when her thighs clamped around his head and her body shook and shattered he knew for sure he was a goner, knew there was no way he was giving this up.

He wrung every last bit of pleasure out of her he could, till she pushed his head away, too sensitised and overwhelmed to take any more. He looked up at her as he wiped his face and licked his lips, and she looked so entirely undone he wanted to punch the air in celebration.

"Fuck, Gibbs."

He allowed himself a cheeky smirk. "Whenever you're ready, Katie."

She shook her head and pressed her lips together, unsuccessfully trying to hide her grin at his words. He crawled back up her body to kiss her again, and apparently she didn't much mind tasting herself in his mouth if her enthusiastic response was anything to go by. "God, Gibbs," she murmured between kisses, "I didn't - that was..." She shook her head.

"Lived up to expectations?"

She laughed. "'Lived up to'? Jesus, Gibbs." She still sounded out of breath, her voice shaky and rough. "How the hell are you so good at that?"

"Just this talent I have." He smirked again, and then smirked wider at the expected eye-roll it provoked.

"Smug bastard."

He leaned down to kiss her again, till she was moaning and grabbing on to him. "Just made you come all over my face," he pointed out when they resurfaced. He was trying to keep his tone reasonable and matter-of-fact, but he didn't sound so steady himself. "Reckon I'm entitled to be smug."

"Hmm." She blinked slowly, and he wondered if she had any idea at all how absolutely gorgeous she was, all wide-eyed and flushed, still glowing with pleasure and satisfaction. She hooked a hand round the back of his neck and pulled him down for another kiss, and this time they were both moaning, and wow, they really needed to get naked, like, _now._

"Uhhh," he managed when she released him. His voice had dropped an octave and he kind of expected her to make a smug comment of her own, but she just panted.

"I need... I need..."

"What?"

She shook her head, looking frustrated at her sudden lack of words. "You. Now. My bed. Please!"

 _Welp_. Not an invitation he was about to refuse. He pulled her up with him, and they stumbled towards her room, too intent on one another to worry about bumping into furniture and door frames. Her hands untucked his clothing from his trousers, snuck up beneath his undershirt to scrape her nails lightly over his back, and his were on her hips and her butt, and then they were in her bedroom and he could finish undressing her properly.

He slid his hands slowly upwards as he kissed her, the fabric of her dress bunching up against his wrists, and when he got to her ribcage she lifted her arms so he could strip it off over her head. She reached behind her back to unclip her bra, let it slip to the floor, and he couldn't help licking his lips as he looked down at her. _Wow_. He ran his fingers over her skin, lightly grasping her waist, cupping her breasts in his hands and flicking gently at her nipples, enjoying the sounds she was making and how warm and liquid her gaze became. "You're... God, Katie. You're gorgeous."

Her smile was both shy and happy, as if there'd been doubt whether he'd still find her attractive now she was out of her clothes. She snagged her fingers into his belt hooks to pull him close for a kiss, and he happily obliged, letting his hands stroke down to her ass, up into her hair, then peppering teasing, featherlight touches over her back which made her sigh into his mouth.

"Gibbs," she murmured, her hands reaching for the neck of his shirt, eager to get him naked too, it seemed. "Please, Gibbs!"

He didn't manage to respond out loud. Though, given Kate Todd was now feverishly tugging at his buttons, pulling his shirt off his shoulders and down his arms, tearing his undershirt impatiently over his head, opening his fly and - he groaned - reaching inside his boxers, he decided being able to talk was overrated.

He gently pushed her back onto the bed, and she propped herself up on her elbows to watch intently as he peeled his pants and then his underwear off. Judging by her expression, she was far from disappointed by any of him.

She bit her lip on a grin as she ran her eyes up and down his body, coming to rest on his crotch for a long moment before she looked up at him again, eyes sparkling with humour. "Oh yeah. I was drunk, but I sure knew what I was talking about, Gibbs."

He grinned, then whimpered when she wrapped a hand around his erection, his eyes closing as he enjoyed the sensation. He didn't realise she'd sat up till a moment later, and his eyes shot open again with a mixture of arousal and alarm as she swirled her tongue around him.

"Jeeeeesus!" She sucked him lightly into her mouth, her tongue still teasing and her eyes full of laugher, and the noise he made was something he was sure she'd rib him about later. "Kate... Katie, I wanna... be in..."

She sucked harder for a moment, her cheeks hollowing, and then slowly slid off of him. "I want you in me too, Gibbs, trust me. I just wanted a little... taste. To see if I was right." She grinned. He would never have imagined her as a woman who'd get such enjoyment out of having him in her mouth, though his entire body was ready to throw a party to celebrate him being so wrong. "And I was. You are... _definitely_ yummy." She squeezed again. "I have talents too, you know. I'm looking forward to making your brain melt."

Okay, she might actually end up killing him. _What a way to go_. "Minx."

Her grin widened and she let go of him then lay herself back against the bedspread, spreading her legs and tilting her pelvis up so he could see how wet and ready she was. "Minx? I guess you think I'm a bad girl, huh?" She pouted, ran her hand gently down her own body, between her legs, letting her fingers glide down and explore. "Maybe I am. Or maybe I just need a little help, a little guidance... maybe you need to show me what I'm supposed to be doing with that lovely, yummy cock of yours?"

 _Oh my God_. She was touching herself. Some day soon, when he wasn't quite so desperate to be making love to her, he'd have her do that while he watched. In the meantime, he lowered himself down over her and kissed her soundly as his fingers joined hers in her body. He swallowed her moan, brushed over her clit with his thumb, feeling her muscles jump and tense, feeling her melting into a puddle - because of him. She was moving against him, letting out little sighs and moans, looking up at him with half-lidded bedroom eyes, and if this was only a dream he was definitely gonna shoot anyone who woke him up, but it would be one _hell_ of a dream.

He didn't pay much attention when she reached over to her nightstand, and then there was a rustle of foil and her hands were on him as she rolled a condom down over his erection. _Oh. Good thinking. Thank God_. He needed no further encouragement to take things up a notch.

He opened her up with his fingers, still both incredulous and enthralled at how ready she was, the way she arched her back into his touch, silently begging him to be inside her. He slid back and forth over her, teasing them both, then guided himself in, just an inch. "All right, Katie?"

"Oh, God. Need you, Gibbs, please, _need_ you, need you _now_."

_Well, I'm guessin' that's a yes._

He laughed, happy to comply, pushing steadily into her, and she bit her lip and let out a low groan as he filled her up. He just about managed to keep himself from thrusting wildly, instead allowing her a moment to adjust - not to mention allowing himself to marvel at being all the way inside her. He rolled his hips, then mirrored her gasp with his own when she wriggled and tensed around him, and he really hoped it meant good things because he needed, _needed_ to be fucking her properly sometime in the next thirty seconds or he might die from anticipation.

"Okay?"

Her eyes were closed, and he couldn't decipher the expression on her face. Then she slowly smiled. "Yeeeeeeeah. Oh, _yeah_."

He laughed as he started to move, slow but deep. "Thank _God_." Worth the risk? _Hell yeah._

She just smiled and pushed back, meeting him stroke for stroke, and he moaned his appreciation.

"I was right," she said, breathily but with a note of triumph in her voice.

"What?"

She grinned and arched up to meet him again, her voice as languid and sensuous as her movements.

"I was so right, Gibbs. When I was drunk. Uhhhh. Yeah - ohhh _fuck_ yes, _there_ \- you're absolutely _yummy_ , and you have... oh, don't- please don't stop-" she swallowed so hard he could hear it, and if he had the breath, he'd laugh aloud to realise he could do this to her "-you _do_ have a lovely big cock, and you definitely know how to-" she let out a sound that made his entire body clench "-oh God, you _really_ know how to use it."

_~ fin ~_


End file.
